Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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