i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
