Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My liver is preforming stress tests.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
