I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
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