Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
If I die, sorry about rent.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize