ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
why do cheetos always look like penises
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
