Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
We had to coat check the pizza.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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