Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'd cum for enchiladas.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
