So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
