I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
