If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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