Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
