Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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