dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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