Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
