its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
