I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I want to make a zoo with you.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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