Little spoons don't ask big questions
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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