Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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