no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i out mim tonsoeep
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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