wake up i wanna do it froggy style
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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