just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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