True but thats because hes a fetus.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
