If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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