Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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