I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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