This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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