Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
