It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
