haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
