Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
