dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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