She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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