i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I didn't notice because vodka
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize