This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
