she was so not down for the gang bang
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
