Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He shit in the fireplace
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
