ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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