No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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