the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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