Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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