Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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