i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
