I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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