so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
