is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
