yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
