she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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