i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize