I wish my penis had an off switch
she was so not down for the gang bang
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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