Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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