how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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