No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
