when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
