We got so high we made milksteak
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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