Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
so much tequila, so little girl.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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