If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize