one might say we're banned from that church
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
