i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
