Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You were trust falling into bushes
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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