Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
