I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
