My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me š
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You told him he ācould park his dick in your garageā.
Well he didnāt. It shouldnāt be this hard to get a penis.
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