your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize