May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I could make wine with my vomit
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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