Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Drake has all the answers
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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