I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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