i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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