ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
This house was built for laser tag.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
