i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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