I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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