so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I enjoy the company of your penis
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